So here it is for now. My final post in a four part series on having your best friend be your spouse. Next week I want to take a look at what a husband should be doing for his wife in a series of valentine post leading up to the holiday. But tonight I want to spend a few minutes looking over again what having our best friends be our lovers means.
So what if having your best friend be your spouse was not about you but them? In the first post called friends with benefits I took a look at a few questions that can illustrate this point. Here they are again.
1) What are her needs, wants, desire, and passions?
2) How can I cultivate our friendship and grow together?
3) How can I be a better friend to her?
4) What should I be prayer for her more about?
5) How can I pursue her and make sure she knows it?
6) What activities can we do together that she would enjoy?
These questions show a point that a lot of the time we forget, which is is marriage is not about me and my needs but the other person. Marriage is about a life of generosity, love, selflessness, compassion, and joy in the other person. Now let me use the Bible to show my point even deeper.
Matthew 10:39
"Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
When we love Jesus we are called to sacrifice our lives for Him and put what Jesus desires first as first in our life. When we love Jesus we are called to lose our life in Him. This truth also plays into marriage when we are called to sacrifices our lives for the betterment of the other person. We are to put them first in word and deed.We are called to lose our lives by pouring it out into our spouse and best friend.
1 Corinthians 13:7
"Love protects, love trusts, love hopes, love perseveres"
When we truly love the other person as our best friend we are then called to protect them at all cost, not only bodily but also emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. We are also called by God to trust in them, hope in them, and preserver with them through life's challenges, heartaches, and even sins.
Proverbs 10:12
"love covers all wrongs"
When we truly love the other person and our best friend in the covenant relationship of marriage, we are called to forgive the other person no matter what. Loving someone and cherishing does not make the other person perfect, they are still going to sin and sometimes hurt us, but loving them calls us to forgive and move beyond the sin and hurt. We are to love the faithfully and without wrong and understand that this side of heaven no one is perfect and we are called to love them anyway.
Now I know none of these verses deal with the marriage relationship but I believe they illustrate a Biblical truth. And that truth is the fact our lives are not our own and we live to the glory of God and the love of others before ourselves. We are called by God to be selfless people who cherish others in our lives and put them before ourselves and our own needs. What better place to show this as an example than in the marriage relationship with our best friend. God has designed the marriage for His glory and to illustrate His truths so we should use marriage to love the other person and show the love that Jesus sacrificially gave the world. Think about the 7 questions again and understand that when they are truly answered we are always putting the other person before us.
1) What are her needs, wants, desire, and passions?
2) How can I cultivate our friendship and grow together?
3) How can I be a better friend to her?
4) What should I be prayer for her more about?
5) How can I pursue her and make sure she knows it?
6) What activities can we do together that she would enjoy?
7) How can we glorify God more together and preach the gospel through our relationship?
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