Friends with Benefits
Before I start this off I want to disclose I got the title tonight from a recent book I read called Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll. I also want to state that as I am writing this tonight I am preaching to myself because I am in no way great at what I am going to talk about and have much room to grow. I pray that at the end of my life on the last day of my marriage that my beloved will say that I did well at this and grew much in this area.
"Husbands, love you wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her"-Ephesians 5:25
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"- Genesis 2:24
Over the last few months God has placed the burden on me about what it means to be a Godly husband and man. God has put a desire deep inside me to be a better leader, lover, friend, rock, provider, heartbeat, and partner for my beloved. Many times over the last few weeks God has reminded me through friends, situations, and His word that I need to take a priority in my relationship with my beloved. And over the last 10 days or so God as chosen a certain area to pick on and really convict me. My friendship to my wife has been an area that God has chosen to focus me on. Here are a few thoughts I have discovered and a few ways that I can improve in this area of my one flesh friendship.
First lets start with a few questions I have asked myself over the last week to gauge how my "friendship" is with my beloved.
1)Who is the person that I think about first, last, and most during my day?
2) When I accomplish something or have something exciting in my life happen, who do I want to tell first?
3) When God shows me an amazing truth about Him or His word, who do I want to share that with most?
4) Who do I want to go see that movie with?
5) Who do I want to do a book study with?
6) Who do I need to repent to first in my life?
7) Who can I cry with?
These are questions I have asked myself over the last week as I have been convicted by the Spirit about my friendship with my wife. God has exposed to me the fact that my wife needs to be the answer to all of these questions because for better or worse she is the one friend I have that is one flesh and should know me the most. As the verse in Genesis says my beloved is my one flesh. That should be the closest relationship I have on this earth, she should be my best friend.
Our spouses need to be our best friends. I should be enjoying the times I spend with my beloved the most. Our relationship should be filled with laughter, love, crying, and joy. My beloved and I should be full of devotion for each other and the passion of our lives after God Himself, should be for the best of the other member. As the verse from Ephesians reminds me, I need to put my wife first in my life (after Jesus) and her needs, desires, wants, joys, and passions should be placed first in my life. My wife and our friendship should be the most intimate relationship I have on the earth. She should be the one person that is free in this life to challenge me when I am wrong, forgive me when I repent, and grow with me in my walk with God.
My friendship with my beloved should be the most needed relationship I have. She should be the one who should meet my needs first and if she cannot she should be the one to help me find ways to meet them. I should then be the one who meets her needs and takes care of her first and if I cannot help her I should find a way to meet them. This also shows that our friendship should be two ways and not just a one way street. Our friendship should be growing together and blessing others by our relationship and marriage. Because of our friendship others should be blessed, God must be glorified, and the gospel must be preaching to a world by word and deed. The world must also see the gospel at work in our friendship and desire to know the Jesus that is at the center of our friendship. My wife must truly be my best friend with many benefits.
This has lead me to then ask 7 different questions about my friendship with my beloved.
1) What are her needs, wants, desire, and passions?
2) How can I cultivate our friendship and grow together?
3) How can I be a better friend to her?
4) What should I be prayer for her more about?
5) How can I pursue her and make sure she knows it?
6) What activities can we do together that she would enjoy?
7) How can we glorify God more together and preach the gospel through our relationship?
I pray that God will challenges others in their one flesh friendship as He has challenged and convicted me.
"Husbands, love you wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her"-Ephesians 5:25
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"- Genesis 2:24
Over the last few months God has placed the burden on me about what it means to be a Godly husband and man. God has put a desire deep inside me to be a better leader, lover, friend, rock, provider, heartbeat, and partner for my beloved. Many times over the last few weeks God has reminded me through friends, situations, and His word that I need to take a priority in my relationship with my beloved. And over the last 10 days or so God as chosen a certain area to pick on and really convict me. My friendship to my wife has been an area that God has chosen to focus me on. Here are a few thoughts I have discovered and a few ways that I can improve in this area of my one flesh friendship.
First lets start with a few questions I have asked myself over the last week to gauge how my "friendship" is with my beloved.
1)Who is the person that I think about first, last, and most during my day?
2) When I accomplish something or have something exciting in my life happen, who do I want to tell first?
3) When God shows me an amazing truth about Him or His word, who do I want to share that with most?
4) Who do I want to go see that movie with?
5) Who do I want to do a book study with?
6) Who do I need to repent to first in my life?
7) Who can I cry with?
These are questions I have asked myself over the last week as I have been convicted by the Spirit about my friendship with my wife. God has exposed to me the fact that my wife needs to be the answer to all of these questions because for better or worse she is the one friend I have that is one flesh and should know me the most. As the verse in Genesis says my beloved is my one flesh. That should be the closest relationship I have on this earth, she should be my best friend.
Our spouses need to be our best friends. I should be enjoying the times I spend with my beloved the most. Our relationship should be filled with laughter, love, crying, and joy. My beloved and I should be full of devotion for each other and the passion of our lives after God Himself, should be for the best of the other member. As the verse from Ephesians reminds me, I need to put my wife first in my life (after Jesus) and her needs, desires, wants, joys, and passions should be placed first in my life. My wife and our friendship should be the most intimate relationship I have on the earth. She should be the one person that is free in this life to challenge me when I am wrong, forgive me when I repent, and grow with me in my walk with God.
My friendship with my beloved should be the most needed relationship I have. She should be the one who should meet my needs first and if she cannot she should be the one to help me find ways to meet them. I should then be the one who meets her needs and takes care of her first and if I cannot help her I should find a way to meet them. This also shows that our friendship should be two ways and not just a one way street. Our friendship should be growing together and blessing others by our relationship and marriage. Because of our friendship others should be blessed, God must be glorified, and the gospel must be preaching to a world by word and deed. The world must also see the gospel at work in our friendship and desire to know the Jesus that is at the center of our friendship. My wife must truly be my best friend with many benefits.
This has lead me to then ask 7 different questions about my friendship with my beloved.
1) What are her needs, wants, desire, and passions?
2) How can I cultivate our friendship and grow together?
3) How can I be a better friend to her?
4) What should I be prayer for her more about?
5) How can I pursue her and make sure she knows it?
6) What activities can we do together that she would enjoy?
7) How can we glorify God more together and preach the gospel through our relationship?
I pray that God will challenges others in their one flesh friendship as He has challenged and convicted me.
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