Circles of Connections

At my Pastor's breakfast last week, one of my friends raised an important question. He asked, "how do we structure our churches in its relationship circles"? After the question was asked, as a group of 8 we discussed how Jesus structured His life into discipleship circles. Jesus had 3 men who were the closest to Him on this earth. Jesus had 12 men who where in an intimate relationship with Him for a 3 year period. Jesus had 70 followers who knew Him and His heart for the world. Jesus had a crowd of hundreds of people who followed Him around and sat under His teaching. And Jesus had the world at large around Him, who knew of Him, and were being impacted by His life. Jesus circles of connection were 3, 12, 70, crowds, and the world.

My friend, who asked the question, challenged us to think of our churches in these discipleship circles. My friend has a church of 100 people. He talked about how he structures his church in these types of connections. He led us in a discussion thinking through small groups, discipleship groups, shepherding groups, intimate friendship, the world, and the intimacy specific groups. We discussed groups of 3, 10, 70, crowds, and the world, both in our own lives and the lives of those we lead as Pastors.

Thinking through these circles of connection, I began to identify certain people in specific groups. I began to think about my level of intimacy with each group and my level of responsibility to each group. In my smallest, most intimate group, my wife, best friend, and brother reside. In my circle of 10, I have other men and women in my life like; my Pastors group, my mentors, an Elder in my church, and a few other close friends. My circle of connections that is 70, consists of my local church, and a few people I know and disciple in my local community, outside of my church. The crowds in my life are the people I have known from my past (that I still talk with), my neighbors, my new co-workers, and the people who know me. The world circle consists of those I do not know but rub shoulders with on a weekly or daily basis (for example the guy who I pay at the gas station). As my friend talked about circles of connections, these are the people I thought through in my circles.

As I have been thinking about these circles of connections, I bring it up for 2 reasons. First, if we do not understand the health these circles bring us, we will stretch ourselves to the breaking point. Because we have different circle of connections, we have different levels of responsibilities to each group. I have a greater responsibility to my wife or my best friend than I do to my neighbor next door. I have a more intimate relationship with my Pastor's group than I do to the single widow in my local church. My level of responsibility is dictated by the circle of connection the person is in. If we structure our lives around these circles, we will keep our priorities set, our commitment level in check, and our lives will be structured based upon relationships. Structuring our lives through the circles of connections will help our lives be rhythmic and running in such a way we become less stressed and hectic.

The second reason I bring up circles of connections, is for the love factor. As Christians we know we are supposed to love others. We know Jesus commands us to love our neighbors, love our enemies, and love our families (both church and blood). But the circles of connections dictate the level and type of love we are called to give the person, based upon the circle the person is in. I am commanded to love my wife in a totally deeper way than I am commanded to love my next door neighbor. I love the widow in my local church very different than I love the waitress who served me breakfast. Based upon the circle the person is in, my level and type of love will be different. Understanding the circles of connections will help us understand how to love the person, when to love the person, and in what ways we can show love to the person.

Jesus structured His life in circles of connections. Yes, this is a descriptive part of Jesus life. He is not commanding us to structure our lives in relationship circles. But Jesus lived a life of perfect worship where he was never stressed, never not loving, and never unable to connect with people around Him. So Jesus gives us a great example how to live a healthy life of relationships. He showed us this example by living His life in different circles of relationships. Structuring our lives in these types of relationship circles can be healthy, loving, and bring worship to our Creator.

Have you ever thought about these types of relationship circles? How do you show love to each circle of connection?