Be real

Realizing

The first key in protecting others, from the impact of sin, is to realize that we are sinful and broken, just like everyone else. Romans 3:23 states, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. Everyone is a sinner. The Bible is clear about that and just one glance around our family or neighborhood can tell us that. But when we are dealing with the sin of others, many times we forget this simple verse from Romans. We become hurt by others sin. We become angry by the sin done to us or the ones we love. We, at times, even become self-righteous and think we are above the sin that is being done. We begin to either rationalize our own sin or even worse make excuses why we are different. The sad reality is that making excuses or rationalizing our own sin, makes that said sin much more impactful and able to have a greater effect, on both us and those in our lives we love and called to protect.

So protecting our children, teaching them about the consequences and effect of sin, begins at the same place where the protection and care of our spouses must begin. This might sound selfish, but without this realization, it could have dire consequences. We must begin with caring, protecting, and teaching our children, at our own feet and our own sin nature.

The root of all sin is an act and thought of unbelief. In the case of adultery the core root of unbelief is that God is not in control of our happiness and joy. We find when we begin to pursue another, we are telling God that He does not have our best interest in mind and does not have our joy in His plan. We pursue another person, in sin, because they present in our broken mind, a great joy and pleasure, more than what God can give us in our spouse. In the simplest form, adultery is an unbelief that God is our highest pleasure and joy and we think we need to find that joy and pleasure somewhere else.

But this act of unbelief is in every sin. When we steal something, whether it is time or material, it is an act of unbelief that can God gives us all that we need. When we lie or use our mouth to put others down, we are committing an act of unbelief that we are more important than God or others. And this unbelief truth runs through every sin.

I say all that about sin and the root of unbelief to show the sad reality that every time I sin, I am committing an act of unbelief in God. Which then means that my unbelief is just like everyone else's unbelief and my sin is just like everyone else's sin. Yes, I have Christ as Lord of my life, but as Paul shows in Romans 7, having Christ as Lord does not mean we will always do good and not sin. “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing”. This means that I still struggle with sin and will still, may more times than I would like to admit, sin and commit an act of unbelief in my own life.

And this is the first step in caring and protecting my children. I must be real with the sin in my life and realize that I sin, just like the sin that is done around me. This being real with sin, must also include the truth that I will commit the same act of unbelief, that I am trying to protect my children from. For the example of adultery, I might not commit the same sin of adultery, the sin I am trying to protect my children from. But I will very much commit the same act of unbelief that adultery is rooted in. I must be real and understand that I will not believe many times that God has my greatest joy, happiness, and pleasure in mind. I must realize that adultery is rooted in lust and I too will commit the same lust in my mind, that formed in another as adultery. I must be real that the same unbelief lives in my mind, as the flesh and as Paul says later in Romans 7, “wage war… in my mind”. Sin still lives in me, even the same sin and unbelief that has lived in others, which has impacted me and my children greatly.

If this reality and realizing, is not found, then any other hope of protecting my children, caring for my children, or even teaching my children is lost. If I do not become real with my sin, then I will either become self-righteous or become a hypocrite. Being a hypocrite is being the opposite of a teacher, it is being a false liar. Being self-righteous is the opposite of a protector, it is being an abuser and exposer of others to harm. So to begin, I must realize that I am just as much as sinner as the one who has just sinned against me.