The two more secrets to marital communication that God gives through Solomon in Song of Solomon are sensitive words and strengthening words. Here are some of my thoughts for each of them
Sensitive words
Sensitive words
The third secret power of communication
with love is the fact that our praise must be sensitive to the other person.
She (the shulamite bride) answers him (King Solomon) and his words in verse 16. She tells him that he is handsome,
charming or pleasant, and being with him is like being in nature and is a
natural part of what she desires and wants. Wives, she is building up the
confidence of her man. Men like to her that they look good and are charming.
She is sensitive to what he needs to hear now when she is responding to his
praise with her own praise of him. Men the same praise with sensitivity goes
for us too. When your wife asks you how she looks in the dress, how do you
respond? Wives, when your husband asks if he has gained a few pounds, what do
you say? It is not only the words we say, it is also how we say it. Sensitivity
is a trait that we all need in marriage because as I stated earlier, it is much
easier to hurt the other person than praise them. Be sensitive with your words
and also with how your words sound and come across. Solomon said in proverbs
that a right answer is like a kiss on the lips. The sensitivity of our words
then is like a kiss or a slap. Have you slapped your spouse recently with your
words or how they came across? Or does the sensitivity of your speak and praise
feel much more like a kiss? Sensitive words and sensitive communication to the
other person is a huge secret in speaking the language of love.
Strengthening words
Solomon gives us the 4th
secret to a love language with his final response to his bride in the text in verse 17. Solomon is echoing her praise in 16 by agreeing that the
natural bent of his heart is to love her. Loving her is natural and when he
loves her it is feeling of fresh natural air. Solomon is using praise to
strengthen her and give her confidence and build her up. Do our words
strengthen our spouse? We, both spouses, live in a world that is sinful, broken,
and beat us up on a daily basis. Does our praise give strength to our spouse in
the middle of this world, or does our words add to the sin and brokenness that
they feel? Do we give admiration and respect with our praise or do we ridicule
and tear apart? Solomon’s was encouraging his bride with his words which gives
his bride the strength she needed. Do our words to our spouse give
encouragement? Using words and praise of strength is a secret and a big power
that our spouses need. We should be strengthening our spouse 10 times more than
we ever do anything else. That is how we walk together and complement each
other, with our strengths. Do your words to your spouse, today, tomorrow, next
week, give strength or give heart ache?
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